From the ugly emerges a new rough with sunshine unmatched.

In whose life
in whose game
whose death
in whose name

edit: add

I can be quite sure that this year will see more entries. I have become quite vocal about my issues and relatively there is a sense of calm. Not so much in the sense that the problems have disappeared but it weren't the many problems that sent me to despair it was the fact that I am alone. Even though I am forever in the company of people my choices in life have led me be rather solitary.
Maybe when I set out to find a comfort zone within my own self I was inevitably moving towards this utter isolation. Slowly I am expanding my comfort zone because I have realized I do not possess the power to keep my ownself contained so tightly.
Towards when I was truly happy I contemplate, I find that I was always in need of others. In their presence, the full me was visible.
My silence then did me no good in the end. The core I looked for did nothing short of burying me. In the process I lost a host of friends, the meaning of friendship and a possible love for life. In all honesty that is all that has happened. I found myself but myself alone proved a burden too heavy.

To shake hands or to kill is interference and so the two are just the same. Issue then is merely of what kind of time-traveling is being done. If I could meet my grandfather I could meet myself and if I could shake my own hand then I could also kill my own self.
But if I can interact with my own self in the way I can interact with my grandfather then it is clear, two copies are made. How the two copies are made is assumed under the assumption of time-travel.
If two copies are made then my past would be different from the self I meet and so my grandfather would not be my grand father and my self would not be my self. Hence, my interactions with my grand father would not "dissolve" me into thin air because my past is distinct from the one to whom my grand father really relates to or would relate to.
To clarify, my past would include a break - a disjunction. My time line would not be one ray, rather my past would consist of a segment and a ray. The segment would represent my time prior to time-traveling and the ray would would represent my current past, since time-travel.
But if the copies are not made, then time-travel has to be assumed possible only if it leads to some different space. One person in two different spaces at the same time but not on the same time line.

In the sense that life must have a meaning, mine is being. Which isn't much of a meaning in the common sense but in the sense that what is foundational is the core then something more foundational than being is impossible. In my view being is the beginning of me but it isn't the beginning of all of me, there is a part of me that precedes being. Being is separate from nothing therefore its foundation is something substantial as well. Probably something minute or something enormously large but it cannot be its own giver - it must take from something (that is a proposition). Whatever it takes from must precede it and it must then succeed it as well, for in the nature of how things are created that which creates imparts a part of itself into that which it created. This part is not a fragment rather a snapshot of its entirety and as DNA finds the created a part of the creator within its core.
Confusion still reigns in thought. Mind has not settled down. There is discourse limited, there is this knowledge of hurt in the vicinity.